Should We Break Up? Decision Matrix
A semi-serious tool to assess your relationship health across 10 critical factors with AI emotional analysis. Get your personalized "Relationship Report Card" to gain insights.
AI Emotional Analysis
Anonymous
10-Factor Analysis
TikTok-Ready
Crisis Support
Relationship Assessment Matrix
Rate each of the 10 factors on a scale of 1 (Very Poor) to 10 (Excellent). Be honest with yourself for the most accurate results with AI emotional analysis.
Optional: Add Your Thoughts for Emotional Analysis
Share what's on your mind for AI-powered emotional tone analysis. This helps us provide more personalized insights.
Your thoughts are processed anonymously via AI and never stored.
Customize Your Report (Optional)
Add names or emojis to personalize your report card for sharing.
About This Calculator
How It Works
- Assesses 10 critical relationship factors
- AI emotional analysis via Hugging Face API
- Provides actionable insights and recommendations
- Integrated crisis support resources
TikTok Trend Potential
- Share results with emoji-anonymized partners
- Duet with friends to compare relationship scores
- Showcase emotional analysis results
- Couples can take it together on camera
Relationship Report Card
Your Report Card Awaits
Complete the assessment matrix and click "Generate Report Card" to see your personalized results with AI emotional analysis, overall grade, and insights.
Overall Relationship Grade
B+
Solid, With Room for Growth
You & Partner
AI Emotional Analysis
Powered by Hugging Face Emotion Analysis API
Factor-by-Factor Breakdown
Relationship Verdict
Your relationship shows strong foundations but is struggling with daily spark. Recommend a dedicated 'fun check-in' before considering any drastic moves.
Gottman Relationship Analysis
Based on Gottman Institute's "Four Horsemen" research
Key Insights
Support Resources
Crisis Support (24/7):
Call or text: 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)
Text HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line)
Relationship Support:
1-800-799-7233 (Domestic Violence Hotline)
Share Your Results
Ready for TikTok? Share your anonymized report card with emotional insights!
❤️ Before you make a relationship decision — get the facts first.
Feelings are messy. Data helps. These free tools take the guesswork out of dating, compatibility, and knowing when to stay or walk away.
- ⏳ Just got divorced and not sure if you're ready to date again? Don't rush into the wrong relationship. Take When to Date After Divorce? Take This Free Relationship Timing Calculator — it tells you if you're truly healed or just lonely.
- 🔄 Why do you two keep triggering each other? The answer is in your attachment styles. Get your Attachment Style Quiz for Couples: Compatibility Score + Fixes — and learn exactly what each of you needs to feel safe.
- 🎁 You give gifts. They want time. That's not failure — it's a mismatch. Use the You Give Gifts. They Want Time. Stop Wasting 47% of Your Effort tool and finally speak your partner's real language.
- ⚠️ Is this relationship slowly breaking you — or can it be saved? Stop asking friends who don't know the full story. Take the Am I in a Toxic Relationship? Take the 7-Question Breakup Forecaster and get a clear yes/no on whether to stay or go.
- 🔍 Spot dealbreakers before you get hurt (again). Most people ignore red flags for 6+ months. Skip the pain. Use the Relationship Compatibility Test: Spot Dealbreakers Before You Get Hurt — it reveals what your gut already knows.
- 📊 Think you're a perfect match? Let's check the data. The Love Compatibility Test: Are You Truly Compatible? scores you across 8 dimensions — from communication to core values.
- ⭐ Curious how celebs stack up? See Celebrity Compatibility Test: We Ranked 5 Power Couples (Taylor & Travis Take #2) — and then test your own relationship against the same metrics.
- 🧠 Ever wonder why you're attracted to people who share your weirdest habits? It's not random — science explains it. Read Why You're Attracted to People Who Share Your Weirdest Habits (Science Explains) and understand your own patterns.
- 📉 Got a low love score? Don't break up yet. Read Low Love Score? Don't Break Up. Read This First. — most people misinterpret low scores and leave too early.
- 💬 Do you actually speak the same love language? Most couples are wrong about each other. Take the Do You Speak the Same Love Language? Take the Test — it takes 3 minutes and changes how you see every argument.
💡 Pro tip: Share this section with your partner. Taking these quizzes together is more revealing than months of couples therapy.
How to Use the Relationship Calculator
Your guide to honest insights · 10‑factor science · AI emotional analysis
3–4 min assessment
Getting Started — Step by Step
1
Rate 10 relationship factors: Slide each from 1 (Very Poor) to 10 (Excellent). Be brutally honest — no one sees your answers.
2
Optional emotional analysis: Write a few sentences about how you’re feeling. AI (Hugging Face) will detect joy, sadness, anger, or love tones.
3
Personalize report: Add names or emojis (e.g., “You 🐱” & “Partner 🐶”) for a shareable TikTok-ready report card.
4
Generate report card: Click “Generate Report Card” — see overall grade (A+ to F), factor breakdown, and Gottman “Four Horsemen” insight.
5
Review crisis support (if needed): Low scores trigger verified hotlines (988, 741741). Use anonymous results for self-reflection or couple conversations.
6
Share & print: Copy results to clipboard with one click or print — perfect for TikTok trends #RelationshipCheck.
Why This Calculator Matters
Unlike superficial “love tests,” this tool is grounded in relationship science. The 10 factors — including Communication Quality, Conflict Resolution, Future Alignment, Effort Balance, Trust & Security, Fun & Spontaneity, Intimacy, Independent Growth, Annoyance Factors, and Gut Feeling — are derived from the Gottman Institute research and decades of clinical studies. The algorithm also identifies “Four Horsemen” patterns (Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, Stonewalling), which are proven predictors of relationship distress. Use it as a structured mirror, not a final verdict. Perfect for couples who want data-driven conversations or individuals unsure about next steps.
10‑factor analysis
AI emotional tone
TikTok-ready report
The Math Behind Your Grade
Your final grade is a weighted average of all 10 factor scores (each from 1–10). Total possible points = 100. The grade mapping follows academic standards:
| Score % | Grade | Meaning |
|---|---|---|
| 90–100% | A | Strong & Healthy |
| 80–89% | B / B+ | Solid foundation, room to grow |
| 70–79% | C / C+ | Needs attention / caution zone |
| 60–69% | D | Breakdown talk time |
| 0–59% | F | Serious re-evaluation needed |
Worked Example
Suppose you score:
Communication: 6, Conflict: 5, Future: 8, Effort: 4, Trust: 7, Fun: 3, Intimacy: 6, Growth: 5, “Ick”: 7, Gut Feeling: 5.
Total = 6+5+8+4+7+3+6+5+7+5 = 56 / 100 → 56% → F grade. The calculator then highlights low-scoring factors (Fun=3, Effort=4) and triggers Gottman warnings if patterns like Contempt or Criticism appear. It also shows actionable insights: “Your Fun & Spontaneity score indicates Netflix autoplay doesn’t count as a date.”
Pro tip: Even a B+ (85%) reveals specific weak points like Conflict Resolution or Future Alignment. Use those as conversation starters instead of ignoring them.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is this accurate enough to decide whether to break up?
No — it’s a self-reflection & conversation tool, not a substitute for professional therapy. Use the results as a structured starting point, not a final verdict. The math and Gottman analysis give clues, but real decisions require honest dialogue or counseling.
What if my partner won’t take it with me?
Take it alone. Your honest answers still reveal where you stand, your satisfaction level, and potential dealbreakers. You can also anonymously share the report card with your partner to spark a judgment-free discussion.
How does AI emotional analysis work?
Your text is sent anonymously to Hugging Face’s emotion detection model (j-hartmann/emotion-english-distilroberta-base). It returns percentages for joy, sadness, anger, fear, love, or neutral. The free tier allows thousands of requests per month. No data is stored.
Can I trust the crisis resources shown?
Absolutely — the calculator displays verified national hotlines: 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline), HOME to 741741 (Crisis Text Line), and 1-800-799-7233 (Domestic Violence Hotline). These are available 24/7, staffed by trained professionals.
I got an F but I feel mostly happy — why?
Many users initially over-rate their relationship. When forced to assign numbers to specific factors (e.g., “Effort Balance” or “Ick Factor”), subconscious dissatisfaction emerges. Re-evaluate your 1–10 scores objectively — the calculator mirrors reality, not wishful thinking.
How do I share results on TikTok?
Click the “Share Results” button → copy your anonymized report card text, then paste into a video caption or as a text overlay. Use #RelationshipCheck or #BreakUpCalculator for trend visibility. The report includes emoji-friendly names and grade breakdown.
Final Pro Tip
Be radically honest when sliding the ratings — no one else sees your answers. The goal isn’t a perfect grade, but clarity. Use the “Independent Growth” and “Gut Feeling” scores as early warning signs. And remember: low scores don’t automatically mean “break up.” They mean pay attention.
© Relationship Decision Matrix — honest insights, science‑backed, always free.
Scientific References & Verified Citations
Peer-Reviewed
Anderson, S.R., Johnson, L.N., Miller, R.B., & Barham, C.C. (2022).
The Couple Relationship Scale: A brief measure to facilitate routine outcome monitoring in couple therapy. Journal of Marital and Family Therapy, 48(2), 464-483.
Validates the 10-factor relationship assessment model used in this calculator.
Gottman, J.M. (1999).
The Marriage Clinic: A Scientifically Based Marital Therapy. W.W. Norton & Company.
Source for the "Four Horsemen" (Criticism, Contempt, Defensiveness, Stonewalling) and relationship dissolution predictors.
Cornelius, T.L., Shorey, R.C., & Beebe, S.M. (2010).
Self-reported communication variables and dating violence: Using Gottman's marital communication conceptualization. Journal of Family Violence, 25(4), 439-448.
Extends Gottman's framework to dating & young adult relationships; cross-cultural validation (NIH replication).
All citations are from peer-reviewed academic journals, NIH-indexed databases, or established research institutes (Gottman Institute). These studies validate the 10-factor assessment, Gottman’s conflict resolution framework, and communication-based relationship predictors used by this calculator.